I AM, according to a letter which landed in The Champion's postbox the other day, about to be rich beyond my wildest dreams.
Naturally, all I need to do is pass on all my personal and account details to a mysterious man in Hong Kong and no less than $14.7m will be mine. This impending windfall, which is not at all suspicious, puts me in a position to buy the new baby Range Rover - you know, the one that's getting all the glowing reviews at the minute. But is it a proper Land Rover?
That's the big question for the Evoque, the third and smallest take on the luxury off-roader to date, and it seems the jury's still out. The Land Rover traditionalists, over their pint of real ale, will readily point out that it's loosely based on the current Freelander, which is itself loosely based - shock horror - on the Ford Mondeo. They'll also choke on their Hobgoblin when they discover Ranulph Fiennes and Chris Boddington weren't used as design consultants. But Victoria Beckham was.
Annoyingly, I can't be of much help in giving a verdict on the Evoque because I haven't driven it yet, but I can point out one thing. It follows a very proud Land Rover tradition of pissing traditionalists off.
The last spin on the Range Rover theme, 2005's Range Rover Sport, was denounced by the traditionalists for being a footballer's chariot, but within two years it had reputedly become the most profitable vehicle then-owners Ford made. The original Freelander, when that got launched, was written off as being a girly Toyota RAV4 rival with an MGF engine and a tent on the back. Luckily, it also had four-wheel-drive and Hill Descent Control and therefore could hold its own in the rough stuff. My point is that Land Rover, as a company, has been creating niches for itself with the country set for decades.
All of which means a leaner, cleaner, greener Range Rover has got to be a consideration for a new millionaire like myself, because it brings the iconic badge and off-road ability of the original to something that won't wind Greenpeace up. That it looks fantastically sharp, particularly as a three-door, is only going to work in its favour.
I think the Evoque's going to be great, and the good news is that you can buy one too. All you need to do is send a small fee and all your details to that man from Nigeria who's been emailing you...
