New classic car show for Liverpool

PETROLHEADS are being urged to back a new charity car show taking place in Liverpool later this Spring.

The Woodlands Hospice Liverpool Motor Show, which takes place on 25 May, will feature more than 60 of the latest models, and displays of classic cars.

The show be held at Croxteth Hall Park (Croxteth Hall Lane, Liverpool L12 0HB) on 25^th May 2014 from 12noon to approximately 5pm. Any proceeds from the event, which is free to enter, will go towards helping the Woodlands Hospice Charitable Trust.

For more information about the show call Neil on 0151 529 2640.

The MGB GT is back

Click on the image to enlarge

Originally published in the 5 February edition of Classic Car Weekly. All rights reserved

Whatever happened to the Life On Cars Mini?

AS the wind howled in from the Irish Sea and lorries thundered past I could feel the Mini’s speed sapping away, its tiny engine coughing and spluttering under the strain. The A55 in North Wales is a lonely place to be when you’ve just broken down in a car that’s older than you are.

It’s almost exactly five years since I encountered what would be the first of many breakdowns in my first car. Having only passed my test two months earlier, I probably should’ve been sensible and sourced a secondhand Micra or a lightly-cuddled Ka for my motoring debut. That, however, would have been boring, so I opted for a 1983 Mini Mayfair instead.

A car I grew to love and hate in roughly equal measure, depending on how much it’d broken down in any given week.

Even though I sold it more than three years ago, it is still the one car I get asked about more than any other. A860 JKC wasn’t so much a car as a source of automotive anecdotes. One day, I’d be revelling in its go-kart steering and how many mates and bags of Tesco’s finest you can cram into just ten feet of car. The next, I’d be cursing its British Leyland build quality and welding so bad you didn’t need a Haynes diagram to see its internals.

For all its foilibles, the car that became known simply as The Life On Cars Mini took me on thousands of miles of adventures everywhere from Caernarfon to Carlisle. Even though I’ve owned another, better-built Mini since – and quite a few other cars besides – I still miss it. In the same way you might miss your old teddy bear.So I was delighted to discover earlier today that the old girl’s still very much alive.

My automotive answer to Who Do You Think You Are was inspired by fellow Classic Car Weekly scribe Greg Macleman, after reading about hisefforts to track down his old, mid-Eighties BMW. A quick check on the DVLA’s vehicle enquiry website (well worth a go if you’re keen to ascertain your old car’s pulse, by the way) revealed that while it wasn’t on the road, it was still very much on its records. Which meant it’d escaped the crusher.

Next port of call was to dig out the Mini’s old records and give the chap I’d sold it to three years ago a quick ring, expecting it to prompt the start of a lengthy search. I was overjoyed to discover that he’s still got it – and that the car I fell in love all those years ago is finally being treated to the restoration I could never afford as a trainee reporter.

The Mini which graced The Champion’s motoring section every other week with its breakdowns all those years ago is, you’ll be pleased to hear, currently in a bodyshop being given a bit of TLC.

I feel a bit of a reunion coming on. Preferably not on a windswept dual carriageway on the North Wales coast, though!

Life On Cars highlights of 2013

2013’s been a petrolhead year defined largely by three words for me – Classic Car Weekly.

Thanks largely to landing my dream job in full-time motoring journalism back in April, most of the motoring experiences Life On Cars has encountered have involved blasting into the past in cars which are usually older than I am. This year’s been an incredible automotive adventure, taking me everywhere from the Scottish Highlands to the southern coast of Spain in search of classic car stories. I can reveal, however, that the issue which got Life On Cars readers talking the most this year was rooted firmly in this blog’s home in the North West; the ongoing saga of whether the Woodvale Rally will ever return to RAF Woodvale.

Some of the highlights from a year peppered with petrolhead moments you might be familiar with – others, unless you’re a regular reader of Classic Car Weekly, you probably won’t be. Here are ten of the moments I’m not going to forget in a hurry…

1) Discovering it’s never too cold to drive with the roof down

January is normally a time for wrapping up warm, snuggling up on the sofa and nudging the thermostat into firmly toasty territory. It definitely isn’t the time for heading into a totally deserted corner of the North Wales countryside and dropping the roof on a (much-missed) Mazda MX-5. The temperature, indicating by the mate’s Saab 9-3 following closely behind, was a chilly -1 degrees Celsius.

Not that I cared, because the MX-5 on those roads was a blast. If you’ve got a convertible, wrap up warm, drop the hood, and get out there!

2) Blasting across the New Forest in a Jaguar XK150

Considering it was only my second day at Classic Car Weekly, this was definitely the sort of motoring journalism small boys dream of – a classic Jaguar with lines so fluid you could almost drink them, empty roads to enjoy it on and an incredibly beautiful bit of England to soak up at the same time.

To be honest, I was expecting another Jaguar I drove that same afternoon – the first E-type I’d ever experienced from behind the wheel – to be the highlight, but it was the simpler charms of the older XK I’ll never forget. The howl of the XK straight-six as I nailed it through the New Forest is something that’ll stay with me forever.

3) Listening to this engine

 

Regular readers will already know I’m well acquainted with the charms of the MG BGT. You might also know that – thanks to a childhood spent in the company of old Range Rovers – that I’ll never get tired of listening to the lumbering burble of a Rover V8 engine.

Seeing and hearing the two in the same package for the first time, however, was a treat for the eyeballs and eardrums alike. Hit play on this short video I made, and see what I mean…

4) Finding out the only way is Up!

An ongoing joke at Classic Car Weekly is that I’ve driven the VW Up pool car not just more than anyone else, but probably more than I have my own cars this year!

While I found myself behind the wheel of Wolfsburg’s 1.0 litre wonder for all sorts of trips to cover shows in the North West, for ferrying colleagues to the Goodwood Revival and – for reasons I’m still not entirely sure of – for a slightly mad return trip to Cornwall, I’ve always enjoyed the fizzy personality of VW’s smallest offering.

For every moment its lack of outright oomph, its tiny boot and its impossibly small fuel tank frustrated me, there was another when the bark of its three-cylinder engine and entertaining handling proved utterly captivating. Put it this way – it is the sort of city car that doesn’t feel outclassed on the Cat and Fiddle pass.

5) Finally trading up in the repmobile stakes

This time last year, I was lauding the vaguely indestructible qualities of the 1995 Rover 214SEi, which I bought back in 2010 for just £300, and I’ve been treated to more of the same throughout 2013. While it’s gone everywhere from Peterborough and London to Bristol and North Yorkshire without so much of a whisper of breakdown – and with a bit of newfound fame in Classic Car Weekly.

The increasingly noisy transmission whine and the quietly creeping onset of rot, however, showed that after three years the old dog, which I’d only ever bought for smoking around Southport in, was beginning to feel the strain of its new life of shooting across Britain.

After two final missions, visiting Classics On The Green in Watford and the Severn Valley Railway’s classic car day in Kidderminster, I finally traded up to its thirstier-but-faster replacement – a 2001 Ford Mondeo Ghia X.

Finally, I’d put my money where my mouth was and bought the big saloon I’ve always recommended to anyone who’d listen. It’s superb.

 6) Thundering up Blackpool seafront – in a Chevrolet Corvette

If Blackpool is Britain’s answer to Las Vegas, then surely the ideal classic for experiencing the Illuminations is a big, all American classic with a big V8 and an open roof. Cue a 1980 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, even if getting it to the resort meant conquering left-hand-drive first by thundering across the Pennines from Harrogate to get it there.

It might have had an appetite for Esso’s finest and drive up a cold, rainy seafront involved never venturing past 25mph, but it was the most enjoyable bits of motoring I’ve ever done. Raucous, traditional and just a little bit showy – a bit like Blackpool, then!

7) Driving an Aston Martin for the first time

While it might not have been the car I enjoyed driving most in 2013 – take a bow, Suzuki SC100 ‘Whizzkid’ – there is a certain pub brag factor about getting behind the wheel of an Aston Martin for the first time. Particularly if it’s a Timothy Dalton-era V8 which uses its 5.3 litre V8 to play a never-ending game of tug of war with the horizon. After doing my best not to get distracted by the James Bond connotations, I found myself truly enjoying its burly demeanour and its thunderous engine note. 2013 also saw me driving my first Rolls-Royce.

Maybe 2014 will be the year I finally get to pop my Ferrari cherry?

8) Seeing Life On Cars printed in a national publication

 Since its launch way back in 2009, Life On Cars has been limited to this humble motoring blog, a series of online emagazines and a weekly column in The Champion series of newspapers in the north west. Seeing a column from Yours Truly printed in Classic Car Weekly back in August, then, was a particularly proud moment. It’s also been great to continue contributing my views to The Champion on a weekly basis, even if a lot of the time those reflections have been e-mailed in from deepest Cambridgeshire!

9) Dressing up in a silly outfit at the Goodwood Revival

I already knew the Goodwood Revival is an unashamed nostalgia trip into the high-octane era of motor racing in the Fifties and Sixties. What I didn’t know, however, was how much fun it is, or how seriously the period charm gets taken. Luckily, I’d donned my best tweed in a semi-successful attempt to look like a period newspaper reporter, as you can see from the not-at-all disturbing shot, and spent three days lapping up the best-before-1966 feel of it all.

Weirdly, thanks to the rigours of helping to produce a bumper report on the show, I didn’t see a single race during a weekend of historic motorsport, and yet I still fell in love with the event. In fact, the only thing which ruined it slightly was the minority of visitors who chose to turn up in tracksuits and trainers. Ban them!

 10) Finding out Petrolhead is a universal language, wherever you go

Until now, my passion of taking pictures and chatting to people at car shows has been limited largely to the North West, but this year my show visits have spanned the nation – and further afield. By far and away the bit of being a car nut I love most is chatting to people about the classics they own, and finding out why it is they love the cars they do. It’s a passion which car lovers, whether they’re in the Scottish Higlands, the North West, the heart of London or tranquil towns in the West Country, have all shared.

It even works abroad too, as a trip to Barcelona to cover Auto Retro proved. Even if the people there, while fluent in Petrolhead, had virtually no grasp of English. Ooops!

 Look out for more of David Simister’s motoring mishaps in both Classic Car Weekly and The Champion throughout 2014. Life On Cars wishes both of its readers a happy New Year

It's all over for the Life On Cars Rover

Click the image to see a larger version of the feature. Article reproduced from the November 13th edition of Classic Car Weekly. All rights reserved.

Have yourself a motoring little Christmas

 

You can help a care home in Southport by opting to send your friends Christmas cards with a petrolhead twist.

Automotive charity BEN has launched a new range of cards which feature classic cars and help raise money for a variety of good causes, including Alexandra House, based on Lord Street.

To find out more about BEN’s Christmas cards go online to ben.admiralcharitycards.org

The sinister conspiracy of the That's Not A Classic Club

Originally published in Classic Car Weekly, 23 October 2013

For sale - Rover 214SEi

The Rover 214SEi which has appeared here on Life On Cars and on a number of occasions in Classic Car Weekly is up for sale.

This N-registered model is the 214SEi, and comes with features including electric front windows, alloy wheels and half-leather seats - making it one of the more luxuriously equipped models in the 200 range when it was sold new way back in 1996.

While the car isn't perfect, and will need attention on the clutch and gearbox in particular before its next MOT next August, it's long proven a reliable runner, and has never broken down in the three years I've owned it. In the time I've had it, it's travelled as far afield as Cornwall, the Norfolk Broads, North Wales and the Lake District, and always got there quietly, faultlessly and comfortably.

The car MOT'd until August 2014, taxed until January 2014, 75,000 miles, lots of history, good condition throughout, and has never broken down in three years of ownership.

If you're looking for a cheap runaround with plenty of Longbridge heritage behind it, feel free to make me an offer! Give me a ring on 07581 343476 or drop me a line using the usual Life On Cars contact details...

Woodvale Rally 2014 date and venue confirmed

The Woodvale Rally will be held away from its traditional airfield home for the third time in a row when next year's event takes place, the event's organisers have confirmed this week.

While the event has been confirmed for June 21 and 22 next year, organisers said that the event would once again be held at Victoria Park in Southport, after the organisers said that the event's traditional home of RAF Woodvale, near Formby, was linked to asbestos contamination.

In a new development car clubs have been dealt a fresh blow, with the organisers ruling out all but a few car club displays due to Victoria Park being a much smaller venue.

Car club secretary, Charles Scott, said in a message to car clubs which normally attend the event: "Woodvale Rally cannot return to Woodvale airfield for the foreseeable future due to asbestos contamination. For the past two years we have held an event in Southport at Victoria park which is the home of Southport Flower Show and other events. Because the flower show has precedence we cannot use the park in July or August. There is no other suitable location in our area. In 2014 we will hold 'Woodvale Rally at Victoria Park' on the 21st and 22nd June.

 "The format is similar to previous rallies, but the much reduced space means that we cannot accommodate car clubs. The 2014 rally is well advanced in the planning stage and there could be space for one or two large clubs with interesting vehicles. Overnight camping may be possible as part of a display if unobtrusive, but there will be camping pitches available on site at £40 for the weekend. It may be possible for a club to attend on Saturday or Sunday only, depending on demand."

Individual classic car entries are being encouraged, however, and are being urged to get in touch with the event's organisers.

After asbestos was discovered at the airfield in 2012 the event was relocated to Victoria Park, despite ongoing controversy about whether the airfield can safely stage the event. This year's event was renamed the Woodvale Transport Festival, and offered visitors lower admission prices than the Woodvale Rally had in previous years.

The Woodvale Rally has been held annually since 1971, and attracts visitors across the north west and further afield due to its mix of classic vehicle exhibitions and model aircraft displays among other attractions.

Why The Goodwood Revival is a motoring event every petrolhead should visit

THIS week I’ve managed to achieve something entirely new. I’ve been complimented by some Belgians, and it’s all thanks to a borrowed hat and a jacket bought in a charity shop in Southport.

Our continental chums had pulled up at something called the Goodwood Revival in an assortment of old Austin-Healey and Porsche sports cars, dressed like extras from Goodnight Sweetheart. They took a fleeting glimpse at the riot of tweed, smiled knowingly, and one of them, who’d just emerged from the cabin of a Jaguar XK120, said it all. “Fantastic outfit”!

The Belgians, the Dutch and the Swiss – and, to be fair, most of the English too if the nearby traffic jams were anything to go by – had all made a beeline for this corner of the deepest Sussex countryside. I reckon quite a few petrolheads in Sefton and West Lancashire did too, to check out what has to be the highlight of my motoring year to date.

The Goodwood Revival is one of those things you have to do at least once, because it’s quite unlike any event I’ve ever been to. To badly paraphrase an office cliché, you don’t have to wear period costume to go, but it helps. The whole weekend is designed to wind the clock back to about 1966, to a time when people would tune into the wireless on their Ford Anglia to catch the latest Cliff Richard record.

It’s marvellously silly, of course, but when you’re battling through a crowd of hippies, Teddy Boys and RAF airmen fresh from the Battle of Britain in a bid to get a glimpse of an E-type Jaguar, you really wouldn’t be In The Mood if you’d turned up in a GAP t-shirt and a pair of Levis.

As my mission there was to help get a hot report on all the action into the latest edition of Classic Car Weekly, I went overboard with the 1950s Fleet Street look, and brought along a tweed jacket which I’d bought from a charity shop in Southport the previous weekend. Combined with an equally tweed hat I’d borrowed off a mate, I actually felt like I’d wandered through the gates and back in time fifty years.

In fact, the retro attire helped me grant me an audience with perhaps the best known car of the Sixties – the very same Aston Martin DB5 used by Daniel Craig in Skyfall! I know Goodwood is miles away and the idea of going to a car show in fancy dress might sound ridiculous, but it’s worth it for the spectacle of seeing no less than 27 Ford GT40s in a row while a Supermarine Spitfire thunders overhead. I cannot recommend donning the tweed and going to Goodwood highly enough.

As Harold Macmillan might have put it, you never had it so good.

Read this week's edition of Classic Car Weekly for a full report on all the highlights and racing action from the Goodwood Revival

Life On Cars gets a guest column in Classic Car Weekly!

2013 Ormskirk MotorFest proves a spectacular petrolhead success

WHAT do a Le Mans-winning Bentley, some thundering stock racers and a brigade of cute old bubble cars have in common?

 If, like me, you were one of the thousands of petrolheads to pay a visit to Ormskirk last weekend then you’ll already know the answer, because all three – and about 300 other cars and bikes besides – were the stars of a free-for-all motorsport spectacular which managed to get the town’s one-way system echoing to a spot of V8 thunder.

This year’s Ormskirk MotorFest, thanks partly to a welcome helping of scorching sunshine, has managed what I was suspecting to be impossible; attracting even more visitors to Ormskirk than the previous two.

With my slightly sick-sounding MG having only limped to the show’s static displays this year (it’s in need of a bit of classic car TLC) I gave going out in the parade a miss this year, but that meant I could really revel in looking around some of the stunning machinery on show. Sure, there was the very Bentley which stormed to victory at Le Mans a decade ago taking pride of place by the clock tower, but it only took a little extra digging to discover some equally eyeball-grabbing cars with some fantastic stories behind them – take, for instance, the 1948 Allard which just happens to be the exact same car the company showed off at the London Motor Show in Earls Court 65 years ago.

A car that’s now cherished by a car lover in Holmeswood, which brings me to the heart of what I love about the Ormskirk MotorFest – that almost all of the cars and bikes are from Sefton, West Lancashire, and the immediate surrounding area. Ormskirk on the August Bank Holiday Sunday has, a result, become an opportunity for thousands of you to find just how much passion there is for motoring in this part of the world.

It was a treat to see the flotilla of 1950s bubble cars being followed up the hill towards the parish church by a succession of Jags, Astons and Bentleys, but it was even more of a joy to see the crowds which had turned out to see them. When Wilf Blundell’s old stock car racer fired into life, the atmosphere tingled with excitement.

In an age where I’ve seen people happily pulling in excess of £50 out of their pockets to pay for a car show ticket, there’s something wonderfully egalitarian about thousands of people packing into Ormskirk, free of charge, to see some beautiful cars strutting their stuff on the town’s streets.

I’ll redouble my efforts to get the MG mended for next year’s event!

The Nürburgring is paradise for petrolheads

AS I SIPPED on a cold Weissbeer and clocked the sight of dozens of classic cars lining the street I came to a conclusion. I had discovered Disneyland for cars.

Imagine taking a beautiful swathe of heavily-forested German countryside and carving a racetrack through it so large that entire villages nestle within it. Then populate the entire area with lovely people, almost of all whom speak perfect English, and brim the tanks in every bar until they’re almost overflowing with frothy, continental beer. Finally, organise a big party and invite pretty much everyone in the whole of Europe with an even vaguely nice car to bring it over and have a blast. That’s pretty much why the Nürburgring is the ultimate petrolhead pilgrimage. It really is a theme park dedicated entirely to burning rubber and revving engines.

A colleague and I were there – via a ferry trip to Rotterdam and a blast across Holland in an MGB that’s considerable shinier than mine – to cover something called the AVD Oldtimer Grand Prix, which sounds a bit tally-ho but is in fact three days of watching BMW M1s, Jaguar E-Types and even old Lotus F1 cars screaming around the home of the German Grand Prix.

The Nürburgring complex really is like AutoDisney, with a tacky gift shop to match – I resisted the urge to blow 40 Euros on a toaster which burns the outline of the Nürburgring onto your freshly heated bread – but in truth it was the party atmosphere in the villages within ‘Ring country which make it worth the visit.

Swiss-registered Ferraris, French Alpine A310s and more German-registered 911s than I’ve ever seen parked up right alongside the MG, which was flying the flag for British car fans – and almost everyone wanted to enjoy a chinwag, and to hell with the language barrier. As the sun set over the 15th-century timbered buildings in the centre of Adenau and the evening light highlighted the soft curves on a hundred sports cars, I realised I’d found an absolute gem of a place.

In fact, my only real regret was not being able to experience AutoDisney’s answer to Space Mountain, Oblivion and The Pepsi Max Big One rolled into one; the fearsome Nordschleife, which with 79 corners over no less than 13 miles is the longest (and possibly scariest) racetrack anywhere in the world. A scary racetrack which pretty much anyone, for the sake of 20 Euros, can drive around!

There’s always a next time, of course, but even though I’ve yet to sample its biggest attraction I can safely say the cars and the feelgood vibe alone should put the Nürburgring on any car lover’s list of holiday destinations.

Ormskirk MotorFest ready to rev up for 2013 event

Some of the world’s most exciting cars and motorbikes will be taking to the streets at a full-throttle spectacular in West Lancashire this weekend.

A total of 300 vehicles have been entered into this year’s Ormskirk MotorFest, with some of the big draws including the Bentley Speed Eight which won Le Mans a decade ago. The day-long event, which encompasses static displays in Ormskirk’s Coronation Park and town centre and parades on the one-way system, takes place this Sunday (August 25).

Alongside the event's traditional draws, including displays in both the town centre and Coronation Park, will be an autosolo event, which revs into action at 11.30am in the car park of the town's Park Pool facility.

Then, of course, there's the series of spectacular street parades, with scores of stunning cars and bikes showing off what they can do on the town's one-way system, including one of the biggest moving displays of bubble cars anywhere in the country.

With so much on offer and admission being completely free of charge, it should prove to be an unmissable event for motoring enthusiasts from across the North West.

 For more information visit the event’s Facebook page or go to www.ormskirkmotorfest.com

Le Mans Bentley racer confirmed for Ormskirk MotorFest

A 217MPH Bentley which raced to victory at Le Mans has just been confirmed as one of the stars of this month's Ormskirk MotorFest.

Aintree Circuit Club, which organises the annual motorsport-themed spectacular, said today the Bentley Speed 8 GT racing car, which competed in the 24 hour race in 2003, will take part in this year's event in the West Lancashire market town on August 25.

Mike Ashcroft, the club's chairman, told Life On Cars: "We are absolutely delighted that Bentley Motors have agreed to bring their priceless Le Mans winning Speed 8 racing car to MotorFest. This car won the world's most famous race in 2003 and is maintained in full running order at Bentley's motorsport HQ at the Crewe factory.

"This is a fantastic opportunity to see this fantastic engineering masterpiece in the flesh! The car will be on display throughout the event in the Moor Street race paddock."

In previous years the event has played host to the likes of the Ferrari Enzo and the McLaren MP4-12C, as well as allowing thousands of petrolheads to see Grand Prix cars taking to the town's one way system.

The Ormskirk MotorFest takes place in and around Ormskirk town centre from 11am on Sunday, August 25. To find out more visit the official website.

The motoring mysteries Life On Cars still needs to solve

THIS year is definitely the year of the anniversary. Porsche’s 911 is 50, the Corvette is 60, and even the humble Hillman Imp has knocked up its first half century.

So it’s probably passed you by that today marks four years since Life On Cars choked into cyberspace for the first time. Since then, this blog – and the sister newspaper column in The Champion – have gone on a high octane journey through a world of car shows, reviews and test drives, taking in a few broken down Minis and sunburnt afternoons along the way.

However, there are a few questions which – despite having a finger on the pulse of all matters motoring since 2009 – still haven’t been answered. Niggling issues and unsolved mysteries, such as…

Does The Audi Lane actually exist? 

The more I drive on motorways, the more I’m convinced the outer lane has – perhaps through the signing of a secret EU protocol at a summit in deepest Ingolstadt – been reserved exclusively for cars with four rings on the radiator grille. Whether you’re in an entry-level A1 or a thumping A7 V12 TDI, your 95mph entrance into The Audi Lane is politely welcomed. Daring to venture there, however, in anything other than an Audi seems to result in the image above dominating your rear view mirror…

Can I get Allegrodote into the motoring lexicon?

An Allegrodote, in case you missed the article earlier this year, is an anecdote solely covering the Austin Allegro, particularly if it’s one that isn’t true. With BL’s great hatchback hope itself celebrating its fortieth birthday, it’d be great to see whether the car which inspires more urban myths than any other could be given its own special term to mark the anniversary.

Is the Renault Clio the most sensible secondhand car ever?

It struck me earlier today that almost everyone I know seems to have an owned a second generation Renault Clio, made by the French firm between 1998 and 2006. Whether it’s the 1.5DCI diesel – of £30 a year road tax fame – or the strikingly quick Renaultsport Clio 172, they do seem to reflect frankly ridiculous value for money. Which is why, I suspect, most of my mates have got one.

Why do cheeseburgers at car shows always cost £5.50? 

This one I’ve yet to understand – a cheeseburger at a car show, whether you’re in Dorset or Cheshire, Lancashire or Lanarkshire, almost always costs £5.50, making me suspect there’s some sort of layby-based cabal somewhere determining the price. That is, of course, with the exception of the Goodwood Festival of Speed, which when I visited earlier this year marked itself out as a car show of a higher calibre. This, I think, explains the £8 you paid for a burger there.

What will the next Fiat 500 spinoff be? 

We’ve already had the 500C, the Abarth, the hideous 500L, the even more hideous 500L MPW and now the frankly unbearable 500L Tracking. Chances are that by this time next year you’ll be able to buy a 500 Roadster, a 500XXL Fire Engine, a 500 Beach Buggy and perhaps a 500 Submarine. All of which will be worth £500 in a used car auction near you in the not-too-distant future.

Can you go green-laning in an electric car? 

I was wondering this earlier today when I’d stopped laughing at the Hummer electric car a UK design firm has come up with. Land Rover came up with an electric Defender earlier this year, but I am left wondering what would happen to an electric 4X4 if, for instance, you took it wading through a river in the Cumbrian countryside. Potentially, the results could be shocking…

Why are Peugeot interiors always messy?

An old colleague of mine got so cross when I put this particular pet theory across that the column I’d been planning for that week got quietly canned, for offending owners of 307s everywhere. It does, however, leave the ongoing mystery as to why so many unloved car interiors I’ve seen are in Peugeots, from a 406 Estate practically blacked by cigarette smoke, the 407 with Seventies-esque disco lighting on account of its numerous technical warnings, and a 206 lined with old McDonalds bags and a distinct whiff of vomit, even though it was barely a year old at the time.

Do ‘GB’ plates make you motor look more modern? 

A mate of mine put this to me today and – annoyingly – he’s absolutely right, although I’m not entirely sure why. All afternoon I’ve been checking out whether cars have the telltale EU blue strip at the side of the numberplate, and determined that all the cars that do somehow look newer than otherwise identical ones which don’t. Weird, but true.

Why are all classic cars described online as ‘BRAN FIND’? 

Genuine classics which are in ‘barn find’ condition are worth a fortune – witness, for instance, the E-Type which sold at auction for £109,000 after spending most of its life hidden away in the aforementioned agricultural building. However, that doesn’t excuse clumsy eBay sellers flogging any old tat as a ‘barn find’, inadvertently mis-spelling it as ‘BRAN FIND’ in the process. In the world of crap secondhand buys, any car of any age or merit can be described as ‘BRAN FIND’ if it's spent even a short of amount of time in a garage or other building.

Will my MGB GT ever be finished? 

Speaking of which, my MGB – which actually did spend a decade of its life in a barn – has over the past three of Life On Cars’ four years kept me busy with visits to shows and appearances in the pages of Classic Car Weekly. While it’s had a small fortune spent on it there are many, many jobs it could still benefit from – least of all, a proper tune up after its latest excursion made it sound like a cement mixer with a cold. I wager, though, that it’s the automotive equivalent of painting the Forth Bridge. Maybe it’s a job that’s never meant to get finished…

Life On Cars thanks both of its readers for all their support over the past four years

American cars? Be careful what you wish for

IT’S the baking heat, one too many cheeseburgers, and The Beach Boys blasting out over the loudspeakers which I blame for my latest motoring misadventure.

Cast your mind back a couple of weeks, to that first swelteringly hot Saturday of July. While you were queuing up for ice cream served by a bald bloke in the back of an ancient Bedford van I was rolling up in the grounds of a stately home in Cheshire that, for the day at least, had become a little overseas corner of California. Acres of nothing but old American cars – that’s the Stars ‘n’ Stripes show at Tatton Park for you.

Old Yank tanks aren’t normally my bag but what started out as a work assignment quickly became an indulgence in fins, chrome and people wearing precious little but denim shorts and cowboy hats. As Sweet Home Alabama belted out of the stereo and I wandered, slightly heat hazed, through a sea of Confederate flags, pick-up trucks and Cadillacs, I might have got a bit carried away with the whole yee-ha-aren’t-American-cars-brilliant thing. I left Tatton Park not just with plenty of pictures, but my very own American dream too.

Wouldn’t It Be Nice, I pondered, to don my best pair of shades, stick on a cowboy hat and get behind the wheel of an American car myself? My head, for about a fortnight afterwards, was full of ideas. Perhaps I could lower the power-operated hood on a ’62 Cadillac – so much cooler than the Thelma and Louisa ’59 model – and cruise down the nearest sun-kissed boulevard, or play the rebel without a clue in a Chevrolet El Camino SS (Google it, trust me). I even entertained the idea, despite the ongoing Queer As Folk connotations in this country, of blagging a go in a Jeep Wrangler.

I really, really, wanted to go for a drive in an American car. Unfortunately, fate dealt me with a cruel hand and gave me one.

True, it was a Chevy, but it wasn’t an old Corvette or Bel Air. It wasn’t even the intriguingly entertaining Camaro Convertible I tried last year. It was a Captiva, which is the Vauxhall Antara’s cheapskate American cousin. Only it isn’t really all that American because – like the Antara – it was developed and made in South Korea. Not that I’d mind if it was any good, but it isn’t. It’s roomy and generously equipped, for sure, but it’s not especially nice to drive, uninspiring to look at, and the materials on the inside feel at least a generation behind most of the competition. It’s not as bad as Ssangyong’s Korando, but that other Korean contender, Kia’s Sportage, runs rings around the Captiva.

Worst of all, it’s a Chevrolet, so you know full well that while your Stateside cousins are lapping up the sunshine in proper American cars, you’re getting lumbered with what’s basically a old Daewoo cast-off. Still, I was looking for a drive in an American car, and I sort of got one.

As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.

Lydiate Classic Car Show nails the feelgood vibe

THERE was a back-to-basics vibe about last weekend’s Lydiate Classic Car Show which I couldn’t help but love.

If you were there – and chances are that, if you’re a petrolhead in this part of the world, you were – you’ll know what I’m on about, but if you weren’t then you missed a treat. For the past six summers there’s been a gathering of all things automotive and vaguely old in a field behind the parish hall, but it’s got better and better to the point where I reckon it’s blossomed into a bit of a gem in the classic car nut calendar.

Sure, there was the usual brigade of Triumphs, MGs and Healey Sprites lapping up the summer sunshine (including a slightly shabby MGB GT owned by a certain Champion contributor) but this year’s show in particular really did have something for everyone, with everything from 1930s Rolls-Royces to 1950s bubble cars to the two-stroke clatter of a procession of Vespa and Lambretta scooters.

In fact, my favourite car of the show by far was a 1955 Land Rover – I’ve got a soft spot for old Series Ones – which had a used ‘n’ abused look which lent it a nostalgic patina in a sea of glinting chrome and polished paintwork. Everyone I spoke to at last Sunday’s show came up with the same verdict – that it was a cracker, even if you discount the sizzling sunshine which has left my face and arms a painful shade of Parcelforce red.

Lydiate’s show is, in the simplest terms, a field with some old cars and a couple of stalls thrown it, but it’s the atmosphere which makes it such an appealing event. By keeping it simple, the organisers have nailed something even far bigger shows sometimes struggle with. A feelgood vibe.

The best thing, though, was that the £2 entry fee wasn’t going to brim someone’s pocket – every single penny went to Cancer Research UK, including the sponsorship money provided by Maghull firm P & G Motor Factors, who stepped in at the last minute to provide the volunteers with a bit of a funding boost. The hi-vis jacketed volunteers running around herding Ford Zodiacs into makeshift parking spaces really were volunteers too – doing it because they loved it – and my hat goes off to them for it.

I love giving a few quid to the charity as much as the next chap but I reckon taking my MG to a classic car show is far more fun than running a marathon or sitting in a bathtub brimmed with beans.

For more pictures and a full report from the Lydiate Classic Car Show check out next week's edition of Classic Car Weekly, published on Wednesday, July 17.

Lydiate Classic Car Show takes place this weekend!

ANYONE who loves their classic cars and bikes will love a celebration of all things motoring being held for a very good cause in Lydiate this weekend.

The Lydiate Classic Car Show, which takes place at Lydiate Parish Hall this Sunday (July 7) will see dozens of enthusiasts from across Merseyside, West Lancashire and further afield show off their vehicles to help raise much-needed funds for Cancer Research UK.

Among the show's classic car entrants will be the Life On Cars MGB GT - fresh from its latest appearance in Classic Car Weekly - and visitors can check out dozens of classic saloons, sports cars, coupes and plenty more at the Merseyside venue, opposite the Scotch Piper pub.

The show, which takes place between 10am and 4pm, costs £2 to attend, with proceeds going to Cancer Research UK. For more information visit the event's Facebook group.

Woodvale Transport Festival 2013

SOMEHOW it was appropriate a replica of that great wartime symbol of British optimism – the Spitfire – stood proudly at the heart of last weekend’s Woodvale Transport Festival.

I could sense a bit of Battle of Britain spirit at Victoria Park last Saturday morning, when the elements did their best to dampen everyone’s spirits for this year’s events. I’ve seen many a show – even the bigger, most lavishly funded ones – turn into a bit of a damp squib on account of typically British summer weather, but a bit of stiff upper lip meant the show carried on. Right on cue, it brightened up as Saturday morning got into its swing.

To say I’d been looking forward to this year’s Woodvale Transport Festival is an understatement. Even though I’ve been to hundreds of different car shows for as long as I can remember Woodvale is my ‘home’ show and the one I’ve grown up with. From my days as spotty boy scout picking up litter to more recent years when I’ve displayed my own classic on the club stands, it’s always been the one show I’ve put in my diary to get along to. That’s why I convinced Classic Car Weekly to let me come home, get the camera out and immerse myself in this year’s event.

It’s because of my fondness for the rally that I left feeling both slightly sad, but more importantly, optimistic. I thought this year’s show suffered slightly, mainly because of the weather, but perhaps also because the name still links it to the airfield extravaganzas of previous years. Smaller shows can and do work – you only need to look at the classic car gatherings in Lydiate and up at Bank Hall each summer to see that – but the reactions I got from speaking to visitors last weekend was that a bit of a mixed bag.

The Woodvale Transport Festival had some great ingredients – a great venue (as the Southport Flower Show proves), keen exhibitors, a host of classic car owners, model plane owners and other enthusiasts who can’t wait to bring their toys along, organisers committed to its success, and a whole town keen to support it -- but I can’t help feeling this year’s event was an opportunity missed.

I don’t think it’s unfair to say the show’s had its ups and downs over the past few years – through, it must be said, no fault of the organisers or those who support it – but I think the show’s future as a top draw event for Southport, not an airfield just outside Formby, is a bright one.

Every cloud – even the literal one that lingered over the show for much of last weekend – has a silver lining.

Originally published in The Southport Champion, June 26, 2013