In a weird sort of way, I miss the Renault Espace

A CAR you’d long forgotten existed is celebrating its 30^th year of production this week. Many happy returns, Renault Espace!

Admit it, you’d forgotten all about the Espace, hadn’t you? In fact, it’s so synonymous with big people carriers that I bet it’s just blended into the motoring background, quietly offering overproductive couples everywhere a spacious and well-equipped means of ferrying their children to school.Only – in this country at least – it hasn’t.

Even though the Espace is still very much in production, you haven’t been able to buy a brand new one in Britain for at least three years. It is proof positive that most Nineties of motoring institutions, the big people carrier, is on life support. 

Once upon a time everyone would offer you a roadgoing ocean liner with more seats than wheels, enough window glass to front a small office block and the ability to buckle up your youngest children in what might as well have been a different time zone. If you didn’t want a Renault Espace, you could have a Vauxhall Sintra, a Toyota Previa, a Fiat Ulysse, a Peugeot 806, or a seven-seater from just about any other manufacturer you can think of. 

The old ones are easy enough to find – just check your nearest minicab firm, and once you’ve overcome the distant whiff of stale vomit and kebabs you find examples with snooker ball smooth steering wheels with roughly three million miles on the clock. New ones, however, are all but extinct.With the notable exceptions of Ford’s Galaxy, Chrysler’s Grand Voyager and VW’s twin offerings of the Sharan and SEAT Alhambra, the truly gargantuan people mover is all but dead.

Renault, ironically, is partly to blame, because with the original Megane Scenic it sparked the idea that people carriers no longer had to be absolutely enormous to succeed. As soon as Vauxhall’s Zafira managed to offer up a normal sized car with seven seats – and this was 15 years ago, remember – the Espace and its ilk were finished. 

Which, in a small way, is a bit of a shame, because for every Espace that’s disappeared from our roads a BMW X3 or an Audi Q3 seems to have taken its place, with their aggressive – sorry, “sporty” – aesthetics and their tendency to sit three inches of your back bumper on the M62. Big people carriers might have been utterly unromantic, but at least you knew where you were with them. 

The Espace might be all but a distant memory on this side of the Channel, but in a weird sort of way I miss seeing it clogging up the nation’s school runs.  

The motoring mysteries Life On Cars still needs to solve

THIS year is definitely the year of the anniversary. Porsche’s 911 is 50, the Corvette is 60, and even the humble Hillman Imp has knocked up its first half century.

So it’s probably passed you by that today marks four years since Life On Cars choked into cyberspace for the first time. Since then, this blog – and the sister newspaper column in The Champion – have gone on a high octane journey through a world of car shows, reviews and test drives, taking in a few broken down Minis and sunburnt afternoons along the way.

However, there are a few questions which – despite having a finger on the pulse of all matters motoring since 2009 – still haven’t been answered. Niggling issues and unsolved mysteries, such as…

Does The Audi Lane actually exist? 

The more I drive on motorways, the more I’m convinced the outer lane has – perhaps through the signing of a secret EU protocol at a summit in deepest Ingolstadt – been reserved exclusively for cars with four rings on the radiator grille. Whether you’re in an entry-level A1 or a thumping A7 V12 TDI, your 95mph entrance into The Audi Lane is politely welcomed. Daring to venture there, however, in anything other than an Audi seems to result in the image above dominating your rear view mirror…

Can I get Allegrodote into the motoring lexicon?

An Allegrodote, in case you missed the article earlier this year, is an anecdote solely covering the Austin Allegro, particularly if it’s one that isn’t true. With BL’s great hatchback hope itself celebrating its fortieth birthday, it’d be great to see whether the car which inspires more urban myths than any other could be given its own special term to mark the anniversary.

Is the Renault Clio the most sensible secondhand car ever?

It struck me earlier today that almost everyone I know seems to have an owned a second generation Renault Clio, made by the French firm between 1998 and 2006. Whether it’s the 1.5DCI diesel – of £30 a year road tax fame – or the strikingly quick Renaultsport Clio 172, they do seem to reflect frankly ridiculous value for money. Which is why, I suspect, most of my mates have got one.

Why do cheeseburgers at car shows always cost £5.50? 

This one I’ve yet to understand – a cheeseburger at a car show, whether you’re in Dorset or Cheshire, Lancashire or Lanarkshire, almost always costs £5.50, making me suspect there’s some sort of layby-based cabal somewhere determining the price. That is, of course, with the exception of the Goodwood Festival of Speed, which when I visited earlier this year marked itself out as a car show of a higher calibre. This, I think, explains the £8 you paid for a burger there.

What will the next Fiat 500 spinoff be? 

We’ve already had the 500C, the Abarth, the hideous 500L, the even more hideous 500L MPW and now the frankly unbearable 500L Tracking. Chances are that by this time next year you’ll be able to buy a 500 Roadster, a 500XXL Fire Engine, a 500 Beach Buggy and perhaps a 500 Submarine. All of which will be worth £500 in a used car auction near you in the not-too-distant future.

Can you go green-laning in an electric car? 

I was wondering this earlier today when I’d stopped laughing at the Hummer electric car a UK design firm has come up with. Land Rover came up with an electric Defender earlier this year, but I am left wondering what would happen to an electric 4X4 if, for instance, you took it wading through a river in the Cumbrian countryside. Potentially, the results could be shocking…

Why are Peugeot interiors always messy?

An old colleague of mine got so cross when I put this particular pet theory across that the column I’d been planning for that week got quietly canned, for offending owners of 307s everywhere. It does, however, leave the ongoing mystery as to why so many unloved car interiors I’ve seen are in Peugeots, from a 406 Estate practically blacked by cigarette smoke, the 407 with Seventies-esque disco lighting on account of its numerous technical warnings, and a 206 lined with old McDonalds bags and a distinct whiff of vomit, even though it was barely a year old at the time.

Do ‘GB’ plates make you motor look more modern? 

A mate of mine put this to me today and – annoyingly – he’s absolutely right, although I’m not entirely sure why. All afternoon I’ve been checking out whether cars have the telltale EU blue strip at the side of the numberplate, and determined that all the cars that do somehow look newer than otherwise identical ones which don’t. Weird, but true.

Why are all classic cars described online as ‘BRAN FIND’? 

Genuine classics which are in ‘barn find’ condition are worth a fortune – witness, for instance, the E-Type which sold at auction for £109,000 after spending most of its life hidden away in the aforementioned agricultural building. However, that doesn’t excuse clumsy eBay sellers flogging any old tat as a ‘barn find’, inadvertently mis-spelling it as ‘BRAN FIND’ in the process. In the world of crap secondhand buys, any car of any age or merit can be described as ‘BRAN FIND’ if it's spent even a short of amount of time in a garage or other building.

Will my MGB GT ever be finished? 

Speaking of which, my MGB – which actually did spend a decade of its life in a barn – has over the past three of Life On Cars’ four years kept me busy with visits to shows and appearances in the pages of Classic Car Weekly. While it’s had a small fortune spent on it there are many, many jobs it could still benefit from – least of all, a proper tune up after its latest excursion made it sound like a cement mixer with a cold. I wager, though, that it’s the automotive equivalent of painting the Forth Bridge. Maybe it’s a job that’s never meant to get finished…

Life On Cars thanks both of its readers for all their support over the past four years

Renaultsport and Red Bull join forces for F1-inspired Megane

The latest version of Renault’s Megane will give you wings, if its F1-inspired name is anything to go by.

Renault said it had teamed up with energy drink giants Red Bull to create a new version of its hot hatch with the name of the F1 team on its rump, of which just 30 will be shipped into Britain. The Mégane Renaultsport Red Bull Racing RB8, to give it its full name, will cost Sebastian Vettel fans £28,245.

The French firm said: "The Mégane Renaultsport is already hailed by many as the ultimate hot hatch, so the arrival of a new Formula One inspired and Red Bull Racing-branded limited edition is set to ensure it flies even more than the standard model.

"Renault and Red Bull Racing this year celebrated their third Formula 1 Constructors’ world title and the new Mégane looks another sure-fire winner."

The Red Bull Megane isn’t the first time Renault has introduced an F1-branded hot hatch into the UK, with the Clio Williams proving to be a hit with keen drivers back in 1993.

Future classics - my top ten tips

SUPPOSE you’ve got motoring’s equivalent of Mystic Meg’s crystal ball. What do you reckon it’d reveal as being the classic car stars of tomorrow?

One of the most fascinating pieces I’ve written for Classic Car Weekly so far is a rundown of what the secondhand experts at CAP have chosen as their candidates for automotive investments, which is as intriguing for what didn’t make the cut as the 20 modern motors which did. Everyone’s got their opinion as to what’ll be the stars of shows up and down the land in 10 or 15 years’ time, and with the article done and dusted I can finally get a few of my own favourites off my chest...

1) MAZDA MX-5 (1989 – 1998) The fact no less than four of the Classic Car Weekly team have owned one – including Yours Truly – speaks volumes about this ultra-reliable, ultra-fun and, for the time being at least, ultra-cheap rear-drive ragtop. Consider my shoes eaten if this isn’t a mainstay of the classic movement in 15 years time.

 2) PEUGEOT 106 GTI/RALLYE (1997 – 2004)Brilliant fun, perfectly packaged and already becoming increasingly sought after by hot hatch hunters. In fact, it’s looking increasingly likely the MX-5-shaped void in my life might get filled by a 106 GTI. Should I? Shouldn’t I?

3) ROVER 75 (1999 - 2005) I’ve already written that Rover’s swansong is tomorrow’s P6, and I still reckon a well-looked example – or its sportier sister, the MG ZT – is as cheap as it’s ever going to be. There’s plenty on offer right now for under a grand, but give it a decade and good examples of these gentle giants will be sought after.

4) FORD RACING PUMA (2000) You could argue the little Puma is tomorrow’s Capri, in which case this is the ultra-rare Tickford (in fact, just like its turbocharged Capri ancestor, the Racing Puma is a Tickford creation). Prices are already much higher than the standard Pumas, but with the rarity of the Racing Puma and the loyal following it’s already attracting, there’s only one way prices will go.

5) RENAULT WIND (2010 - 2011)  I might have enjoyed the French firm’s Twingo-based two seater when it was new but the Great British Public didn’t, so while it’s a bit of a flop now its rarity should count in its favour. Quirky styling and fantastically simple flipping metal roof are bonus points on a car that, even now, you don’t see every day.

6) PEUGEOT 406 COUPE (1997 - 2004)Italian styling house Pininfarina worked wonders with the Parisian repmobile favourite to create a striking beautiful coupe. Best spec is the 3.0 V6 but 2.2 HDi versions are already proving popular with fuel-conscious enthusiasts.

7) FIAT COUPE 20V TURBO (1995 - 2000)As above, but with added Italian flair and loopy amounts of punch from the five-cylinder turbo beneath the bonnet. Any car that manages to make Fiat Tipo underpinnings look this good has got to be in with a shout.

 8) SUBARU IMPREZA TURBO (1994 - 2000) The original, four-door versions of the Scooby Pretzel are cheap now – you can, if you look carefully, pick them up for less than £1,500 – but it won’t be long before they’re being coveted as classics. Escort RS2000s, remember, were cheap and plentiful a long time ago...

9) BMW 8-SERIES (1990 - 1999) CAP’s list included no less than three BMWs, but they missed out this one, which price-wise is where the original 6-Series was 15 years ago. Not that I could afford to run around in a secondhand 850CSi, of course.

10) VOLKSWAGEN POLO G40 (1990 - 1994)  Only 600 imported into the UK originally and they’re rare, characterful pocket rockets now. Worth seeking one out for the addictive whine the supercharger makes. Plus, they go like stink.

Feel free, however, to disagree...

The full feature on CAP’s tips for future classic investments can be found in this week’s edition of Classic Car Weekly, published Wednesday, April 24.

Electric shock for Renault over battery leasing quarrel

SUPPOSE for a moment, you’re on the verge of buying a secondhand Clio. It comes stashed with service history, it’s in great condition and mileage-wise it’s still got plenty of life left in it, but as you settle on the price it seems there’s a snag.

“Oh, you want the engine as well, sir?” the salesman enquires politely. “Sorry, you have to pay extra for that.”

Understandably, you’d be pretty miffed if you had to pay extra to have the privilege of having something to propel your pride and joy, and that’s exactly why used car gurus CAP have had a bit of a falling out with Renault lately. They’re refusing to give secondhand values for the French firm’s range of electric vehicles… …because anyone who buys one has to lease the batteries separately.

Martin Ward, CAP’s manufacturer relationship manager, said: “We have every confidence in the quality and reliability of the Renault Zoe. We have seen it, driven it, lived with it and its 90 mile range means it definitely has a place in fleets for shorter range driving purposes.

“But until Renault removes the unnecessary layer of complexity caused by treating the battery as a separate entity to the car CAP will be unable to forecast its used values so fleets can work out competitive lease rates. In our opinion it is now time for Renault to give some great electric vehicles they have worked hard to develop and refine a real chance in the company car market by abandoning its ‘battery not included’ policy.”

I’ve driven by far the quirkiest of Renault’s electric offerings, the two-seater Twizy, and stand by my original verdict that it’s brilliant. In fact, I loved it so much that – and I don’t do this often – seriously thought about buying one as a fun, frugal commuter car to go to work in, but it was the very fact you have to lease the batteries separately that put me off. I own a mobile phone, a tablet, and an MP3 player which all have batteries which I don’t have to lease. 

Why should it be any different with a battery-powered car?

Can new the new Clio spark a revival for Renault in the UK?

What links the Espace, the Laguna, and the Wind? That’s right – they’re all models the French firm’s quietly dropped from the UK because they hadn’t proved a hit with buyers on this side of the Channel. 

That’s why they’ve put so much effort into the latest version of what’s been their supermini staple for more than two decades – the Clio. We’ve already looked at the potent 2.0 litre Renaultsport 200 Turbo version but chances are that it’s going to be its less manic little brother, which goes on sale at dealerships across the UK at the end of the month, that’ll be so crucial to the company’s fortunes in this country.

It’s certainly got the looks style-savvy supermini shoppers crave – check out those Alfa 156-esque rear doors, for instance, cleverly designed to disguise the fact it’s the first Clio in the model’s 22 year history that’ll be offered only as a five door.   

More importantly, depending on which version you pick it’ll be around 100kg lighter than the car it replaces, which makes it kinder on fuel (great for when you’re not belting it around like a boy racer) and quicker off the mark and more nimble (great for when you are).

Thanks to the prospect of a £10,595 starting price, fine looks and the prospect of gadgets like an in-car tablet, I reckon the new Clio might well be good enough to make it fourth time lucky for Renault.

I’m looking forward to finding out whether the new Clio goes as well as it looks.

Renault and Caterham join forces to build sports cars

 

THE problem with Renault's Wind was that it wasn't hardcore enough.

It was my kinda car; small, light, blessed with a clever roof which didn't ruin the shape, and underpinned with the same basic mechanicals you'll find in the Renaultsport Twingo 133. Yet the little roadster always lacked the bite of its hatchback sister, which I suspect is part of the reason why Renault quietly dropped the wind from its range last year.

Luckily, Renault's found an innovative solution to making its sports cars a touch more manic. It's brought its F1 partnership with Caterham onto the road, so the French automotive giant will join forces with the plucky Brit firm to design and build cars together, with the inevitable results getting the famed Alpine badge.

Renault chief Carlos Tavares said yesterday as the tie-up was announced: "Our ambitions of reviving Alpine depended on our ability to find a partner in order to ensure the economic profitability of such an adventure. Right from the start, we wanted to place the Dieppe plant at the heart of the project.

"Today, through our partnership with Caterham Group, we can enter a new phase:  the design of a vehicle that will embody the very essence of Alpine, a vehicle that will rekindle sporting passion once more. It could become a reality within the next three or four years."

It's the second sports car tie-up announced in the space of a year, after Fiat and Mazda teamed up to build an Alfa Spider with MX-5 mechanicals. However, if Renault matches the pedigree of its last proper sports car - the spectacular, race-bred Spyder - with Caterham's best known offering - the bonkers Seven R500 - then the Anglo-French efforts look set to interest the more hardcore end of the market.

Either way, it's encouraging to see that even in these tricky times, car makers still want to give us something to get excited about.

Skelmersdale - the Lancashire town designed with motorists in mind

THERE'S a cruel irony in efforts to reunite Skelmersdale with the nation's rail network. It is, for better or worse, a New Town made with motorists in mind.

I got thinking about this the other day as I drove one of the Champion's Renault Meganes towards the Concourse centre, where I'd be quizzing Maria Eagle, the shadow transport minister, on her support for a new town train station. Skem has many things to reccommend about it, but its transport links for non-motorists isn't one of them. The government of the day designed the New Town for the age of the car, and it shows.

In many ways it's brilliant when you're behind the wheel. There are, as far as I know, absolutely no traffic lights, the dozens of roundabouts are all well signposted and offer plenty of visibility, and thanks to the town planners' liberal use of bridges and underpasses there's very little risk of a zebra crossing getting in your way. It's also right next to the motorway network, meaning that unlike the residents of Southport, Skemmers don't have to drive through miles of farmland to reach the motorway.

But it's also the only place in the north west where I still regularly get lost, because once you drive in there's something weirdly disorientating about the road layout. Yes, there are plenty of roundabouts and wide, open roads, but when you're a non-native venturing about in a car which isn't yours it's all too easy to lose your bearings.

Yet the most obvious giveaway that Skem's New Town was designed in another era is when you pull into the multi-storey at the town's shopping centre, because it was clearly designed for a world when everyone drove around in Cortinas and Austin 1100s. The Megane's by no means a big car, but threading it through some of the building's tighter turns somehow transformed it into a Humvee with widened wheelarches.

It's weird; Skem has clearly been redesigned with the motorist in mind, yet driving around it always demands a fraction more concentration because it has a road network quite unlike any other in the north west. Next time I think, I think I'll leave the Megane parked up and get the train in instead.

Oh wait...

New Renaultsport Clio promises hot hatch thrills

THROTTLE-happy hedonists will be delighted to learn that a new Renaultsport Clio has just been announced.

Closely based on the all new Clio range announced by Renault earlier this year, the new hot hatch swaps the old car's 2.0 litre engine for a 1.6 turbo unit, and while power remains roughly the same at 200bhp it's torquier and kinder to the environment than its predecessor.

Renaultsport MD Patrice Ratti had this to say about the new arrival: "New Clio Renaultsport 200 Turbo proclaims loud and clear the values of Renault Sport: beautiful and fast, it has everything that’s needed to make it the benchmark car in the high-performance sports hatchback class – just like its predecessors.

"The introduction of a very high performance turbocharged engine, with plenty of torque at low revs and coupled to the EDC dual clutch transmission (Efficient Double Clutch) developed by Renault Sport engineers, results in a car that raises the performance driving experience to a new level. The expertise of Renault Sport Technologies is reinforced by long-term programmes in the most demanding types of motorsport, including racing and rallying.

"It is this experience which makes us so passionate about handling feedback, and you can feel this the moment you drive any of the Renault performance derivatives we have developed. We’re also proud to be producing the Renaultsport in Dieppe, home of Alpine, and delighted to be using the EDC gearbox in a Renaultsport version for the first time."

Perhaps more importantly, keen drivers will be offered two different chassis settings with the new model - a Sport chassis, which is aimed at providing driving kicks with a dash of everyday comfort, and the harder Cup chassis, which has been designed with trackday fans in mind. There's also a fun button for go-faster drivers to press, called the R. S. Drive, which sharpens up the throttle and gearbox responses when it's pressed.

If that's not enough, there's also an accoustic gadget called R-Sound Effect, which replicates engine noises through the speakers, meaning you can literally make the new Renaultsport Clio sound better than it actually is!

Expect to find the new Renaultsport Clio lining up at a trackday near you from early next year.

Fire up the... Renault Twizy

EVER since they cancelled kids' TV favourite Captain Planet saving the world hasn't been the same. Eco-friendliness is all very noble but it's - to my mind at least - a bit boring.

This is particularly true of electric cars, which have at best been dull and overpriced and at worst fatally flawed, but Renault's determined to change all that. With, by the looks of the utterly bonkers Twizy, something that's been styled by Gerry Anderson's production team rather than a car company's design department.

Tall in stance, open-wheeled and equipped with little bodywork other than a set of scissor doors cast in plastic rather than steel, the Twizy (which, by the way, rhymes with easy and not, as I thought, Thin Lizzy) is quite unlike anything I've clapped eyes on. In fact, the only thing that comes close in terms of visual impact is the Morgan Threewheeler I drove earlier this year, and in both instances you'll have to get used to being looked at.

So the Twizy, if you're shy, probably isn't not your bag but - and I really wasn't expecting it - it is mine. It is, if you've been raised on a diet of fast cars with noisy petrol powerplants, not exactly the last word in speed, but it's weirdly thrilling to drive because it's so nimble and because the relatively low grip from the skinny tyres offer up as much fun at 30mph as some cars struggle to do at twice that.

With electric cars it's usually at this point I say it'd be great if it weren't for an extortionate price tag, but at less than seven grand the Twizy doesn't have one.

Think of it as a car and you won't get it - it's too exposed, too impractical not plentiful in the seats department for that - but as a scooter for scaredeycats it's big fun. It's small, easy to park, kind to the environment, and because it comes with seatbags and an airbag and because you can't fall off it, a whole lot safer than taking two wheels to work. In fact, I think the Twizy's only real failing is that, with it being an entirely eco-friendly effort, Renault won't offer you one with a perkier petrol engine.

The Twizy is odd and impractical but it puts a smile on your face and has a definite ‘want one' factor. Which for me makes it a landmark in the world of electric cars.

The Renault Twizy and Vauxhall Ampera are electric cars you might actually want to buy

IT was, to get the obvious puns out of the way, a shocking conclusion. Out of a host of brand new cars I've just driven the most impressive were the electric ones.

You'll already know that in the noble interests of Champion research I headed down to the motor industry's annual test drive day at the Millbrook Proving Ground in Bedfordshire last week - think of it as speed dating, just with cars rather than potential partners - and got to put a host of different motors through their paces, all of which you'll be able to read about in these pages over the coming weeks. Everything from the Jaguar XKR-S to the Fiat Panda's been given the Simister treatment.

Yet what surprised me most of all were two very different - but boldly brilliant - electric models. At the same event two years ago I drove a MINI of the volt-powered variety and concluded the world of electric cars needed to come on in leaps and bounds - and it has. The little Citroen C-Zero I drove last year nearly did it (ridiculous pricetag aside), but it's Renault's Twizy and Vauxhall's Ampera that I reckon are the game changers. Both of them pass the most crucial test of all. The “Would you actually buy one?” question.

Yes, I know the Ampera's got a petrol engine but it's emphatically not a hybrid - it is an electric car that occasionally uses a petrol engine to charge it up, which until they sort out the refuelling issues is the only way to make ‘leccy vehicles even mildly practical. Should you wake up tomorrow with a sudden urge to drive it to Inverness, there's nothing stopping you. Not even the price. It costs roughly the same as the Insignia, but that doesn't matter because it's roughly the same sort of car.

It's a hugely impressive bit of kit but it's not the first electric vehicle I've driven with a definite ‘want one' factor - that honour goes to Renault's faintly ridiculous Twizy. Think of it as a car and yes, it's rubbish, but think of it as the spiritual successor to all those bubble cars that bumbled around Britain in the Fifties and Sixties and it's spot on. It's a scooter for people who are scared of falling off. Oh, and as far as I know it's the only car this side of a Lamborghini Aventador which comes with scissor doors. It is, for want for of a better word, hilarious.

I don't think Renault, keen to be seen as an innovator of all things electric, were that happy though with my suggestion after my test drive. Wouldn't it be fun to fit it with a superbike engine?

The old Renault 5, not the new one, is the perfect car for Cameron's Britain

TORIES and Liberal Democrats, look away now. The buzzword I’ve heard most since the establishment of Cameron’s Britain is “austerity”.

Blame who you like but austerity is everywhere, from the library that shut down six months ago to the vacant shops dotting the town centres. The TV screens are awash with anarchic imagery of Greek people burning things and news correspondents looking confused, unsure of which political party or city banker to blame it all on. Everyone knows these are austere times. Except Renault.

The French, you see, are reckoning on a reinvention of the iconic Renault 5 as a way to light up the supermini market in the way the latest Clio and Twingo haven’t, but they’re making the mistake of tilting it squarely at the Citroen DS3. This, in Cameron’s Britain, is a mistake.

I like to think I know a bit about the Renault 5 because I owned one and absolutely loved it. While the fact my very ropey Campus model cost just £100 helped, it really was the archetypal austerity car. Due to the fact it came with absolutely no equipment at all the engineering effort went into making sure the few bits you did get worked perfectly, and even after 120,000 miles it still started on the button every single time. I suspected it’d survive everything up to and including a light nuclear blast.

It was also much, much quicker than an ancient 1.4 hatchback had any right to be and easily the most spacious car I’ve owned. Both, I suspect, down to there being absolutely nothing in the way of luxuries to weigh it down or clutter it up. Prison cells come better equipped these days than the old 5 did.

But the new one, if predictions are right, won’t be a car for peasants and paupers, but a posh one with all sorts of unnecessarily bourgeois equipment like cruise control and electric windows and central locking. In the old one, you were lucky if you got a working heater!

What Cameron’s Britain of spending cuts and soaring unemployment needs isn’t a Renault 5 that’s weighed down with pricey electrical equipment that’ll only break anyway. It needs a real replacement for the old warhorse, which offers cash-strapped families a five star Euro NCAP safety rating – another Renault tradition, don’t forget – and absolutely nothing else so that they too can afford a brand new car.

Then again, even if Renault does bring out a new and rather more decadent reinvention of the 5 it won’t reach us until at least 2014. Maybe they know something about an economic recovery the rest of us don’t?

Fire up the... Renaultsport Twingo Silverstone GP Edition

GILLIAN McKeith, I reckon, would be a big fan of this sporty little number from Renault.

This latest version of the Twingo, you see, has been on a bit of a crash diet, in a bid to get rid of any uneccessary blubber and get into great hot hatch shape. In fact, the only place its piled on the pounds is in the price; this run-out Silverstone GP edition weighs in at £14,995 - more than two grand more than the standard model.

But don't think this is all limited edition badges and no trousers - this run-out version comes with a host of options chosen to appeal to the keen driver, including a stainless steel exhaust system and a performance monitoring system which lets you record your favourite boy racer stats, including your lap times and the amount of time it takes to shoot from nought to sixty. Tip for anyone thinking of thrashing one; 8.7 seconds is your target time.

Despite all the options and the wonderfully cossetting bucket seats, however, this is definitely a hatchback designed for thrills rather than frills, something you can't fail to notice with the rather cheap-feeling interior. Spartan on equipment and clad in tacky grey plastics, it's not a car you buy if you enjoy being pampered in your spare time.

Where this car really shines is not on the motorway - where it's just too noisy to be a comfortable companion - but on the B roads, where it's clear that all the crash dieting and the company's Cup chassis really come good as you dart from corner to corner. It is a fanatically fit streetfighter of a car, and always feels far more frantic than its 133bhp 1.6 litre engine initially suggests.

While it's a bit too raucous for my tastes - for my money I'd still go for the slightly more polished Suzuki Swift Sport tested earlier this year for Life On Cars - it is undoubtedly a true hot hatch in the old school sense, and more than capable of giving weightier rivals a run for their money.

Just don't load it up with too much luggage, otherwise you'll undo all of Renault's hard work!

Prepare to fire up the... Renault Twizy

A RENAULT that's not even a car is set to arrive in the company's UK showrooms from spring next year.

The two-seater Twizy is described by the French firm as “an urban compact vehicle”, and uses an electric battery to power a narrow four-wheeler which blurs the lines between an electric car, a scooter and a quad bike.

But if that makes you think of mobility scooters used by the elderly, consider that it'll do 50mph and - thanks to its low weight - is capable of outdragging most conventional city cars away from the lights, while Renault are promising its nimbleness will make it great fun to drive.

Prices for the Twizy will start at £6,690, with monthly battery hire costing £40. For more information check out the Renault website at www.renault.co.uk